Comments on: English geniuses… this is for you. Can you help please? http://www.tylerpaul.com/seven-lakes-high-school/english-geniuses-this-is-for-you-can-you-help-please SLHS Class 2012 Tue, 09 Aug 2011 05:20:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Upward http://www.tylerpaul.com/seven-lakes-high-school/english-geniuses-this-is-for-you-can-you-help-please/comment-page-1#comment-711 Upward Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:25:59 +0000 http://www.tylerpaul.com/seven-lakes-high-school/english-geniuses-this-is-for-you-can-you-help-please#comment-711 That my sister, who was gone at college I grabbed my street shoes and, terror-stricken (this sounds better to me....Terror-stricken I grabbed my street shoes and, etc) You are a writer! Start your first book NOW! Good Job.<br><b>References : </b><br> That my sister, who was gone at college
I grabbed my street shoes and, terror-stricken (this sounds better to me….Terror-stricken I grabbed my street shoes and, etc)
You are a writer! Start your first book NOW! Good Job.
References :

]]> By: Cat http://www.tylerpaul.com/seven-lakes-high-school/english-geniuses-this-is-for-you-can-you-help-please/comment-page-1#comment-710 Cat Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:58:59 +0000 http://www.tylerpaul.com/seven-lakes-high-school/english-geniuses-this-is-for-you-can-you-help-please#comment-710 "It was the smell of anti-bacterial soup and blood." I assume you mean "soap". If so, you spelled it wrong. Capitalize "Christian" I think it is pretty good. Suggestions: Michelle was right, Kasia had been ejected sixty feet from her car. Now sitting in the hospital bed beside me was Kasia, completely unscathed, who appeared more peaceful and serene than I had ever seen her before. Completely unscathed.<br><b>References : </b><br>brain "It was the smell of anti-bacterial soup and blood."
I assume you mean "soap". If so, you spelled it wrong.
Capitalize "Christian"
I think it is pretty good.

Suggestions:
Michelle was right, Kasia had been ejected sixty feet from her car. Now sitting in the hospital bed beside me was Kasia, completely unscathed, who appeared more peaceful and serene than I had ever seen her before. Completely unscathed.
References :
brain

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